Черепашки-ниндзя   Вселенная  Второй мультсериал (2003 – 2009, 4Kids)  6-ой сезон a.k.a. Fast Forward (2006-2007)   Серия 03 "Home Invasion" [120]
   29.01.2009, 17:18  
Серия 03 "Home Invasion" [120]
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ID:	21256"Home Invasion" / "Вторжение домой"


Автор сценария: Rich Fogel
Премьера: August 12, 2006
Главный продюсер: Lloyd Goldfine
Продюсеры: Gary Richardson, Frederick U. Fierst, Al Kahn, Norman Grossfeld, Thomas Kenney
Режиссер: Roy Burdine
Сценарист: Lloyd Goldfine

Основные персонажи: Donatello (Sam Regal), Leonardo (Michael Sinterniklaas), Michelangelo (Wayne Grayson), Raphael (John Campbell)
Персонажи второго плана: Master Splinter, Cody Jones, Serling, Viral, Sh'Okanabo
Местоположения и техника: Cody's Penthouse, New New York Power Plant, Turtle Dojo Holoroom, Dojo Battle Bot


Полная версия сюжета на английском языке (под спойлером):
 
Intro: Open with Leonardo entering a small Medieval tavern full of little elves. Once Leo's inside, the angered elves draw short swords and close in on the Turtle. Leo leaps into action and gains the upper hand in the battle, but one of the little buggers blows on a horn and a huge rock troll stalks into the bar. Cody and Master Splinter appear and Jones worries about Leo's safety - Master Splinter tells the boy to watch and learn. Leonardo dodges attacks from the powerful monster and then cuts a chain, causing a huge chandelier to fall onto the troll, smashing it into the floor. Having conquered all opponents, the scene flickers into Leo’s true surrounding where we see that he's actually in the middle of a holographic simulation room, standing over a defeated battle Bot. This was the initial test of Cody's new invention - a holographic Turtle Dojo. Satisfied with the results, the trio heads out to retrieve Mike, Don and Raph. As the group exits, we see the Bot flash with residual energy as its circuits ominously crackle.

Act 1: Donatello is working on the kitchen bot in Cody's penthouse apartment, trying to make adjustments so it will prepare their food better. Things go haywire and Serling is caught in a fiery blast - fortunately the robot is unharmed. Raphael grows impatient with all the noise and stomps off to find some privacy - on his way he's intercepted by a cleaning bot that attempts to brush his hair, give him a shave, sprays him in the face with water and forcibly brushes his teeth. Needless to say, Raphael isn't too enthused by the future.

In a nearby city power substation we see two technicians view their computers in alarm - a massive power surge threatens to overload the entire system. Sparks begin to shoot out the control panel and a giant surge whirls up and begins running through the power lines. Red energy coalesces into a sharp face that shrieks with joy now that it's free. The energy creature then uses power lines to escape the power station. The confused technicians note that the danger seems to have passed and decide to go to lunch.

Cut back to the penthouse where Cody shows the other Turtles the new dojo that he built for them. It's a high tech training facility with battle simulations and over 500 holographic background modes. As Cody cycles through various environments, Raphael is still in a bitter mood an is unimpressed. After some prompting from Master Splinter, Raph begrudgingly thanks Jones. Splinter then announces that as a measure of their gratitude, Leonardo will begin instructing Jones in ninjitsu. Cody leaps into the air with joy, expecting to learn combat moves. Leo tells the boy to sit down in lotus position, as their first lesson will be to meditate on the importance of the mind/body connection. Cody is disappointed by this development, but he tries to meditate. Just then, the power surge hits their building, causing an alarming flux in the energy powering the dojo. Don and Cody exit to investigate. Suddenly the doors slam shut, trapping Splinter, Leo, Mike and Raph inside! Back inside the dojo, the strange red energy appears and once again the maniacal face appears and announces that it is in control of the building - and it will use its prisoners in the dojo to get what it wants! With that, the energy being uses the dojo's abilities to launch attacks on the TMNT. Master Splinter is hit by an electric prod that weakens him. Leo rushes to his Sensei's side - fortunately the old rat isn't seriously injured, but he won't be able to continue fighting.

Act 2: Meanwhile, Don and Cody have logged onto the building's security system and have discovered that a massive program is traveling through the computer array. Remarkably, there's nothing that they can do to shut down the rogue program or delete it. Serling interjects and connects himself to the system in effort to help, but he's immediately engulfed in the red energy that's been plaguing the city. The servant bot loses control of himself and begins attacking Don and Cody with a mop! Serling is able to communicate, but he cannot control his actions.

Don and Cody escape from Serling and race to the dojo to get help - only to discover that the others are locked inside and facing a menace of their own. Serling arrives and once again the red energy erupts into the air and the evil face appears. The entity introduces itself as Viral and explains that she wants to get into O’Neil Tech’s mainframe to steal the technology located therein - but to do so, she needs Cody’s passkey. Jones scoffs at the idea that he would give up this information, and Viral threatens that she will destroy Splinter and the others inside the dojo if she doesn't get the password.

Meanwhile, inside the dojo, Splinter and the Turtles find themselves standing in an old west saloon simulation where they're attacked by the Wild West C.O.W.Boys of Moo Mesa. Outside, Don and Cody once again flee from the possessed Serling. Viral chases them and eventually Don and Cody crash through a window!

Act 3: The villain thinks that the duo have fallen to their deaths and heads back to the dojo. Outside, Donatello has managed to puncture the building's exterior wall with his energy bo. Fortunately he and Cody are right next to an air duct, so Don kicks it open and the two reenter the facility. Once safely inside, Donatello comes up with a plan. The brainy ninja points out that Viral can only hack into computers via hardwire connection, not by wireless. So, if they shut down the power grid that the building is on, they’ll isolate Viral in the building. Once that’s done, they can simply shut down the building's power and purge her from the entire system.

Cut back to the dojo. Viral arrives expecting to find dead Turtles, but instead discovers that they've made friends with the C.O.W.Boys! Enraged, Viral attacks.

Elsewhere, Donatello puts his plan into action, and for five blocks around the building, power systematically shuts down. With Viral isolated in Cody's penthouse, Don quickly shuts down power in the building. Inside the Turtle Dojo, the holographic enemy crackles with energy, floats into the air, and then disappears!

The dojo doors finally open. Cody and Don come inside to explain what they did, but just as it seems to be over, Viral tears through a wall and enters the room! The villain has taken over the Dojo Battle Bot's body and is angrier than ever!

Act 4: As Viral attacks, the Turtles gang up on her - pleased that she is now in a physical body that can take real damage. With nowhere else to upload to, Viral cannot escape the ninja onslaught. A very damaged Viral makes a run for the elevator, but the Turtles catch her and kick her down the deep elevator shaft.

Later, the Turtles and Jones arrive in the trashed penthouse apartment. Serling is back to his old self and worried about cleaning up the mess. Raph reports that Viral survived the fall and has escaped. We also discover that Splinter has regained his strength. The Sensei points out to Cody how Donatello displayed the importance of mind while his brothers proved the value of body in their battle. Jones states the he understands the importance of his first lesson and he and the others begin to meditate. Raph wanders off to read in peace but is dismayed when he sits in a robotic chair that begins speaking to him.

Cut to a utilities access tunnel where the damaged Viral is kneeling. A shadowy figure enters and Viral begs for repair. Viral's master is Sh’Okanabo, the mastermind behind the plot to take over O’Neil Tech and retrieve its secrets. The evil overlord tells his underling that she will stay in this body as punishment for her failure. While this attempt did not reap results, it's obvious that Sh'Okanabo won't be giving up any time soon...

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Последний раз редактировалось Casey; 05.09.2017 в 21:04.
Спасибо за пост (2) от: Klunk, Super Marvel
21.02.2012, 17:50
palblog :: Blast from the Past #476: July 26, 2005: comments on 120 ("Home Invasion") and 121 ("Headlock Prime") premises :: 21.02.2012 17:42






Subj: comments on 120 and 121 premises
Date: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 1:23:24 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

Here are my comments (just a few) on the 120 and 121 premises.

---------------

comments on premise for Ep. 120 "Home Invasion"

1.) Re: the following:

"Don and Cody manage to sequester themselves and try to attack Viral by working within NETHERSPACE – a purely digital domain operating below all computer programming (NOT a virtual reality, but a digital realm of numbers where they exist as flickering lines of information. There they see Viral in his DIGITAL FORM, and set traps for him while Raph and the rest fend off a building gone wrong."

Maybe it's the wording, but I don't quite get what is meant by "a purely digital domain operating below all computer programming (NOT a virtual reality, but a digital realm of numbers where they exist as flickering lines of information" -- that sounds to me like EXACTLY what programming is: lines of information. I hope this is not just an excuse to use that already over-used cheesy scrolling green characters MATRIX thing. Unless there is something I am missing, there's no need to create something like "Netherspace" for this story -- Don and Cody are just doing programming. (Or counter-programming, in this instance.) "Netherspace" is a cool word, though -- maybe we should save it for a future use.

2.) Re: the following:

"Don and Cody manage to build a “trap door” for Viral that appears to be the key to O’Neil security, but instead traps him in the Dojo. Viral is tricked into downloading his entire program into one DOJO PRACTICE ROBOT – (a nasty juggernaut of a construct that will be his body in the future!) From here Viral’s certain that he can destroy the Turtles (with the visceral thrill of using “his own six hands”) but gets more than he bargained for when Raph takes out all of his “future frustration” on the robot, kicking the shell out of it. (Body and Mind… the Physical and the Spiritual, working in consort…)

In the end, Viral uses the body (now a virtual prison) to escape, barely making it out with his circuits in tact. O’Neil has been saved, and Raph is a little more at peace…just a little.

In a final coda, Viral appeals to his mysterious “creator” to free him from the robotic body, but she refuses, and we see once again a glimpse of the mysterious Sh’okanabo. What was she looking for at O’Neil..? Time will tell!"

While the idea that Viral can be trapped in the robot body is a neat way of concluding this episode, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Why can't Viral get out? What makes this robot so special and different from all of the other cybernetic systems Viral apparently got into and out of throughout the city? And even more baffling -- why would Viral's mysterious creator not let him out of the robot body? Surely Viral would be of far greater use to Sh'okanabo as a powerful computer virus than one beat-up robot.
I wonder if it might work better if it is Viral's CHOICE to keep the robot body -- though not necessarily as a permanent "home" -- because in the short time it had spent battling Raph in the dojo, it acquired something new: a "taste" for physical combat, something which it could expand upon in later episodes without losing its unique ability to infiltrate computer-driven systems as a virus. And perhaps Sh'okanabo allows it to keep this robot body, but with the threat of taking it away if Viral does not do what Sh'okanabo commands. The next question, of course, is this -- why would Viral care about THIS robot in particular... when there are very likely millions of other robot bodies it could take over and utilize? The answer might be that this robot is a special O'Neil Industries prototype with special chips and circuitry which approximate FEELINGS and SENSATIONS... which are suddenly intriguing to the previously totally digital Viral.

2.) When Viral attacks Cody's building, does his robot butler Serling also get invaded by the virus? Or is he immune somehow?

Последний раз редактировалось Павел; 05.10.2012 в 22:25. Причина: лишнее
25.02.2012, 18:50
palblog :: Blast from the Past #479: August 3, 2005: Re: FW: Show 120 ("Home Invasion") Outline :: 25.02.2012 18:46





Subj: Re: FW: Show 120 ("Home Invasion") Outline
Date: Wednesday, August 3, 2005 2:15:07 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

Here are my notes on outline 120.

1.) Re: the following:

"The little elves charge him, and he fends them off with his Katana swords, but it’s difficult because they’re so short!

LEONARDO: Time to lower my defenses…

He flips into a one-armed handstand. This lowers his eyeline so that he can meet their attacks head-on. "

Clever, but questionable -- Leo is then only able to use one arm/hand to fight with, and I really think any advantage gained by "lowering his eyeline" is probably offset by the increased difficulty of fighting upside-down with only one arm free. A better alternative might be this -- I believe there is a style or technique of swordplay where you have one leg folded on the floor behind/underneath you and the other bent at the knee and upright in front of you, with that leg's foot flat on the floor, and you kind of crab walk/scoot in that position. This brings your eyeline down but also leaves both hands and arms free to battle, as well as giving you a more secure and steady position to fight from -- and of course, you're not upside-down!

2.) Re: the following:

"In the next room, we see Raph sitting and reading “Jurassic Park”. But his brothers teasingly yell taunts back at him until he sighs and gives up. But when he stands, we hear a polite voice saying, “Don’t forget to put the lid down.” Raph rolls his eyes in disbelief.

RAPHAEL: You gotta be kiddin’ me! "

So -- Raph's reading on the toilet? Do we really want to do this?

3.) Re: the following:

"A trail of exploding sparks surges along the power lines and disrupts everything in its path. In a restaurant, SERVER DROIDS lose control and fling plates of food at the startled customers! SPLAT! In skyscrapers, AUTOMATED ELEVATORS yo-yo up and down, terrifying their trapped passengers. And in the street, robotic GARBAGE TRUCKS rip up news kiosks and dump their contents like trash.
As we follow the surging trail of sparks along the power lines, we see that it is heading directly for Cody’s penthouse! "

This could be fun. I think it would be good if we could think up a unique visual signature for these sparks so that they are not just your random cartoon sparks but unique to Viral's presence, so that whenever we see these in a future episode, it will alert us to the fact that Viral is coming. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking some kind of spiral spark which could wrap around conduits (making even a kind of crazy "double helix" -- almost like these sparks represent Viral's "DNA"), or maybe a kind of staggered ring-shaped series of sparks.

4.) Re: the following:

"Cody proudly leads them into the Holo-Simulator room where Leo and Splinter are waiting. At first they are confused until Leo explains that it’s a high-tech Dojo where they can sharpen their skills. Leo shows off the automated assault sequences and state-of-the-art weaponry. "

Might be fun if Cody has programmed the "start point" of the simulator to look like the Turtles' old lair.

5.) Re: the following:

"DONATELLO: It’s like, Dojorama!

MICHAELANGELO: Dojorama Extreme! Sweet! "

As Don's line doesn't really sound like a Don line to me, I would combine the two and give the resulting line to Mikey, as follows:

"MICHAELANGELO: It's like Dojorama Extreme! Sweet! "

6.) Re: the following:

"Donny asks Cody if there’s any way to find out what’s going on inside. Cody says he can tap into the Dojo room’s camera on his laptop. They creep back to Cody’s laptop, and Cody accesses the Dojo’s surveillance feed. "

If Viral has infiltrated all of the electronics in the building -- including stand-alone units like Serling -- why hasn't it also gotten into Cody's laptop?

7.) Re: the following:

"Meanwhile, Splinter and the Turtles are fighting for their lives. Unfortunately, Splinter gets ZAPPED by a high-voltage charge which knocks him out and makes his hair comically stand on end!

MICHAELANGELO: Ooh, bad hair day"

For Mike to make a "bad hair day" joke while Splinter is lying unconscious on the floor after getting zapped by a high-voltage charge is just WRONG. Mike would not make a joke like that at a moment when he's not sure if his master is seriously injured -- that's not funny, it's bad taste. However, it COULD be funny if he said it AFTER Splinter gets up off the floor and his hair is still standing on end.

8.) Re: the following:

"Viral goes on to explain that he has been sent to pillage classified information from O’Neil Tech’s systems, and he calculated that only the Turtles had the potential to stop him. "

Huh? How is it that Viral even KNOWS about the Turtles and their capabilities?

9.) Re: the following:

"Suddenly, the three Turtles find themselves standing an OLD WEST SALOON, surrounded by tough-looking COWBOYS. As the cowboys frown and narrow their steely eyes, Mikey grins and waves. "

A couple of ideas here: It could be cool if these cowboys are twisted in some fashion by Viral's influence -- maybe they have all the cowboy clothes and gear, but they are APES or DINOSAURS (Triceratons?) or INSECTS or something.

I might also be fun -- if we could work it out legally -- if the "cowboys" that the Turtles fight here are actually some of the characters from my friend Ryan Brown's "Wild West Cowboys of Moo Mesa" property. It would be a fun "in-joke", and I'm pretty sure Ryan would go for it.

10.) Re: the following:

"Meanwhile, ELSEWHERE IN THE PENTHOUSE, Cody and Donny are running a system check on the network. They detect Viral, and see that he has infected much of O’Neil Tech’s network, but a firewall is still keeping him out of the top secret classified research files.

CODY: I’ll try to delete him…

But when Cody hits the delete button, Viral senses the attack. Abandoning his Bartender guises, he leaves the Dojo and zips through the wires toward Cody’s computer.

Donny notices the lights flickering and sees a spray of sparking explosions surging toward them.

DONATELLO: Unplug!

He yanks the Ethernet plug out of the computer just before Viral gets there. Then, they flee down the hallway with the wiring burning up in the wall behind them. "

See my comment #6 above. And, 100 years in the future, would Cody's laptop REALLY be literally plugged in via Ethernet? I mean, we're almost living in a wireless society NOW! The gag above could still work exactly as is if instead of Cody's computer being plugged in, it is working wirelessly, but it contains the same firewall that the other O'Neil secret classified research computers have. Viral could sense the laptop's presence, even though it couldn't get into it, and still send the same power surges in its direction as above.

11.) Re: the following:

"After Viral fades away, we PAN DOWN the outside of the penthouse and see that Donny is hanging from a ledge by one hand and holding a shaken Cody with the other.

DONATELLO: We’re safe, kid.

But Cody looks down at the dizzying drop and closes his eyes in terror.

CODY: You call this safe?

Urging Cody to trust him, Donny uses his foot to slide open a window, and they swing inside to safety.

DONATELLO: This looks like our floor. "

Don's last line here sounds like dopey "snappy patter". And I'm not so sure about the convenient window Don can slide open with his foot doesn't make the building sound very secure. Hmmm... of course, maybe the windows are all unlocked as one of the results of Viral's invasion of the building's electronics -- and it could be good to have Don mention it when they are able to get in that way.

12.) Re: the following:

"Furious, Viral explodes with anger and the whole scene disappears in a fuzz of VIDEO STATIC.

When the image resolves, they find themselves in a new holo-simulation, one that looks very familiar… Their old SEWER HIDEOUT. At first they are delighted.

RAPHAEL: Home, sweet home!

MICHAELANGELO: Hey, I wonder if that leftover pepperoni pizza is still in the fridge!

Leo reminds them that this is just a simulation. And then they see something moving in the shadows. It’s the FOOT CLAN! "

Ah, now I see that my idea for the old lair being part of this holographic training thing (see point #4 above) has already been thought of. However, I think it works better per my suggestion, and I think it would be cooler if we used instead a NYC rooftop scenario for this battle.

13.) Re: the following:

"As a wave of Foot soldiers attack them, Viral’s face gloatingly appears on one of the Lieutenants. "

Wouldn't it be much cooler if instead of a mere Lieutenant, it's a simulated SHREDDER?

14.) Re: the following:

"VIRAL: You fight well now. But your pathetic flesh is weak. Soon you will tire. But my soldiers are inexhaustible!

As another wave of Foot soldiers appears from the darkness, Mikey begins to look concerned. He realizes that Viral is right. They can’t keep up this pace forever! As Viral laughs malevolently, the epic fight continues. "

Not that we have to get into the tech stuff TOO deeply, but Viral's line here made me think -- given that we establish that the rock troll Leo fights in the opening simulation was actually a holographically disguised robot, WHAT exactly are these Foot soldiers the Turtles are fighting (and for that matter, the little elves Leo was fighting in the beginning)? Are they, too, robots cloaked in holograms? If so, wouldn't it make sense that Viral's supply of Foot soldiers would NOT be unlimited? I think they would only be unlimited if we establish that in some ways this training room works like STAR TREK's "Holodeck", which uses force fields to simulate physical objects. And maybe only some special opponents -- like the rock troll -- are based on real, physical machines. Although, when you think of it, why bother if you can create holograms which feel like physical objects?

15.) Re: the following:

"Donny explains that he tricked Viral into streaming into an area that he thought was O’Neil Tech’s classified files, but instead it was a dead-end where Donny was able to lock him in.

The other Turtles think Donny’s brilliant until Leo asks where exactly he locked Viral up.

Suddenly, the room SHAKES, and a huge, hulking, six-armed DOJO BATTLE BOT burst out of the wall. They see that Viral’s face is trapped in its viewscreen. Exasperated, Raph turns to Leo. "

Hmm... now WHY, exactly, does bright boy Donny do such a stupid thing? Wouldn't it have occurred to him that putting a malevolent entity like Viral in a dangerous robot's body might not be such a great idea?

It might work well if Don explains (maybe when the others give him some shit about it) that it was the lesser of two evils -- he could either have let Viral continue to pillage O'Neil Tech's computers (unacceptable) or lure Viral into the only place he could figure out to contain it -- the robot body (dangerous, but better than option #1).

16.) Re: the following:

"LEONARDO: I’m gonna lose my linguini! "

NOT a Leo line -- Raph or Mike might say something like this.

17.) Re: the following:

"As the maddened Viral Bot charges at our heroes, Donny tells them to break off the transponder that is located just behind the left shoulder.

Easier said than done! But at great risk, Leo manages to slice the transponder off. However, it doesn’t slow down the lumbering juggernaut. “It didn’t stop him!” complains Leo.

DONATELLO: No, but it cuts off his line of transmission! Now he can’t upload himself out of that robot. "

This seems like a waste of time and an unnecessary action bit -- didn't Don already "lock off all avenues of escape" in Act 3?

18.) Re: the following:

"SERLING: Oh dear! Some of these priceless antiques are a hundred years old!

MICHAELANGELO: Hey! Who’re you calling antiques?

Serling is mortified, and explains that he didn’t mean the Turtles because even though they are a hundred years old, they certainly don’t look it! And furthermore… Mikey laughs and cuts him off. "

Okay, I'm confused -- is Serling a prissy, timid 'droid as he is portrayed in this scene, or the snippy, sarcastic 'droid we saw in the first episode?

19.) Re: the following:

"As Cody takes the Lotus position, Mikey walks by Splinter and chuckles at his frizzed fur.

MICHAELANGELO: Nice doo, master.

When Splinter starts to protest that it’s only temporary, Raph stops him.

RAPHAEL: I thought a true warrior must always adapt to any new situation.

For once, Splinter is at a loss for words. Raph laughs as he walks away, and says that maybe the future isn’t so bad, after all. "

This might be a good place to use the "bad hair day" joke misused earlier (see my comment #7 above).

I'm a little concerned with what I see as the subtext of this scene -- if I am reading it right, Raph is thinking that the future might not be so bad because they can make fun of Master Splinter. That doesn't seem right.

20. ) Re: the following:

"Inside, the vault is crammed with computer equipment. Viral sits amidst the gear and works on repairing his broken robot body. He flexes his repaired hand with obvious satisfaction.

VIRAL: Yes! I’m beginning to like this physical form.

Just then, a vid-screen BEEPS, and he goes to answer it. On the screen, we see a glitchy distorted image of the shadowy and mysterious SH’OKANABO. She is not happy.

SH’OKANABO: You have failed me.

Viral bows his head in shame.

VIRAL: Yes, mistress. But in this form, I am more powerful than ever. Give me one more chance to get down and dirty with those cursed Turtles, and they will pay!"

This doesn't make sense to me. First, it is OBVIOUS that Viral is far LESS powerful trapped in a robot body than he was when he could enter all kinds of electronic systems as will and disrupt/manipulate them. And second, I seriously doubt that after having all that power -- and then having it taken away from him when Don trapped him in this robot -- Viral would "begin to like" this metal body he is STUCK IN.

Also, if Viral is going to reappear in a future episode, do we really want him to be just another hulking robot, or the very dangerous sentient digital intelligence he was in this episode? I think the latter.

Perhaps a better way to play this would be as follows: Viral is not liking his new metal form, he's CURSING it. He pleads with SH'OKANABO to help free him from this prison, but SH'OKANABO expresses his displeasure with Viral's failure by telling him that he must remain in this limited form, as punishment, until SH'OKANABO deigns to free him, for his next mission (whatever that will be).

-- Pete


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оригинальная запись в блоге

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All TMNT-related images © Mirage Studios unless otherwise noted. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles® is a registered trademark of Mirage Studios; all rights reserved.
25.02.2012, 18:50
palblog :: Blast from the Past #479: August 3, 2005: Re: FW: Show 120 ("Home Invasion") Outline :: 25.02.2012 18:46





Subj: Re: FW: Show 120 ("Home Invasion") Outline
Date: Wednesday, August 3, 2005 2:15:07 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

Here are my notes on outline 120.

1.) Re: the following:

"The little elves charge him, and he fends them off with his Katana swords, but it’s difficult because they’re so short!

LEONARDO: Time to lower my defenses…

He flips into a one-armed handstand. This lowers his eyeline so that he can meet their attacks head-on. "

Clever, but questionable -- Leo is then only able to use one arm/hand to fight with, and I really think any advantage gained by "lowering his eyeline" is probably offset by the increased difficulty of fighting upside-down with only one arm free. A better alternative might be this -- I believe there is a style or technique of swordplay where you have one leg folded on the floor behind/underneath you and the other bent at the knee and upright in front of you, with that leg's foot flat on the floor, and you kind of crab walk/scoot in that position. This brings your eyeline down but also leaves both hands and arms free to battle, as well as giving you a more secure and steady position to fight from -- and of course, you're not upside-down!

2.) Re: the following:

"In the next room, we see Raph sitting and reading “Jurassic Park”. But his brothers teasingly yell taunts back at him until he sighs and gives up. But when he stands, we hear a polite voice saying, “Don’t forget to put the lid down.” Raph rolls his eyes in disbelief.

RAPHAEL: You gotta be kiddin’ me! "

So -- Raph's reading on the toilet? Do we really want to do this?

3.) Re: the following:

"A trail of exploding sparks surges along the power lines and disrupts everything in its path. In a restaurant, SERVER DROIDS lose control and fling plates of food at the startled customers! SPLAT! In skyscrapers, AUTOMATED ELEVATORS yo-yo up and down, terrifying their trapped passengers. And in the street, robotic GARBAGE TRUCKS rip up news kiosks and dump their contents like trash.
As we follow the surging trail of sparks along the power lines, we see that it is heading directly for Cody’s penthouse! "

This could be fun. I think it would be good if we could think up a unique visual signature for these sparks so that they are not just your random cartoon sparks but unique to Viral's presence, so that whenever we see these in a future episode, it will alert us to the fact that Viral is coming. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking some kind of spiral spark which could wrap around conduits (making even a kind of crazy "double helix" -- almost like these sparks represent Viral's "DNA"), or maybe a kind of staggered ring-shaped series of sparks.

4.) Re: the following:

"Cody proudly leads them into the Holo-Simulator room where Leo and Splinter are waiting. At first they are confused until Leo explains that it’s a high-tech Dojo where they can sharpen their skills. Leo shows off the automated assault sequences and state-of-the-art weaponry. "

Might be fun if Cody has programmed the "start point" of the simulator to look like the Turtles' old lair.

5.) Re: the following:

"DONATELLO: It’s like, Dojorama!

MICHAELANGELO: Dojorama Extreme! Sweet! "

As Don's line doesn't really sound like a Don line to me, I would combine the two and give the resulting line to Mikey, as follows:

"MICHAELANGELO: It's like Dojorama Extreme! Sweet! "

6.) Re: the following:

"Donny asks Cody if there’s any way to find out what’s going on inside. Cody says he can tap into the Dojo room’s camera on his laptop. They creep back to Cody’s laptop, and Cody accesses the Dojo’s surveillance feed. "

If Viral has infiltrated all of the electronics in the building -- including stand-alone units like Serling -- why hasn't it also gotten into Cody's laptop?

7.) Re: the following:

"Meanwhile, Splinter and the Turtles are fighting for their lives. Unfortunately, Splinter gets ZAPPED by a high-voltage charge which knocks him out and makes his hair comically stand on end!

MICHAELANGELO: Ooh, bad hair day"

For Mike to make a "bad hair day" joke while Splinter is lying unconscious on the floor after getting zapped by a high-voltage charge is just WRONG. Mike would not make a joke like that at a moment when he's not sure if his master is seriously injured -- that's not funny, it's bad taste. However, it COULD be funny if he said it AFTER Splinter gets up off the floor and his hair is still standing on end.

8.) Re: the following:

"Viral goes on to explain that he has been sent to pillage classified information from O’Neil Tech’s systems, and he calculated that only the Turtles had the potential to stop him. "

Huh? How is it that Viral even KNOWS about the Turtles and their capabilities?

9.) Re: the following:

"Suddenly, the three Turtles find themselves standing an OLD WEST SALOON, surrounded by tough-looking COWBOYS. As the cowboys frown and narrow their steely eyes, Mikey grins and waves. "

A couple of ideas here: It could be cool if these cowboys are twisted in some fashion by Viral's influence -- maybe they have all the cowboy clothes and gear, but they are APES or DINOSAURS (Triceratons?) or INSECTS or something.

I might also be fun -- if we could work it out legally -- if the "cowboys" that the Turtles fight here are actually some of the characters from my friend Ryan Brown's "Wild West Cowboys of Moo Mesa" property. It would be a fun "in-joke", and I'm pretty sure Ryan would go for it.

10.) Re: the following:

"Meanwhile, ELSEWHERE IN THE PENTHOUSE, Cody and Donny are running a system check on the network. They detect Viral, and see that he has infected much of O’Neil Tech’s network, but a firewall is still keeping him out of the top secret classified research files.

CODY: I’ll try to delete him…

But when Cody hits the delete button, Viral senses the attack. Abandoning his Bartender guises, he leaves the Dojo and zips through the wires toward Cody’s computer.

Donny notices the lights flickering and sees a spray of sparking explosions surging toward them.

DONATELLO: Unplug!

He yanks the Ethernet plug out of the computer just before Viral gets there. Then, they flee down the hallway with the wiring burning up in the wall behind them. "

See my comment #6 above. And, 100 years in the future, would Cody's laptop REALLY be literally plugged in via Ethernet? I mean, we're almost living in a wireless society NOW! The gag above could still work exactly as is if instead of Cody's computer being plugged in, it is working wirelessly, but it contains the same firewall that the other O'Neil secret classified research computers have. Viral could sense the laptop's presence, even though it couldn't get into it, and still send the same power surges in its direction as above.

11.) Re: the following:

"After Viral fades away, we PAN DOWN the outside of the penthouse and see that Donny is hanging from a ledge by one hand and holding a shaken Cody with the other.

DONATELLO: We’re safe, kid.

But Cody looks down at the dizzying drop and closes his eyes in terror.

CODY: You call this safe?

Urging Cody to trust him, Donny uses his foot to slide open a window, and they swing inside to safety.

DONATELLO: This looks like our floor. "

Don's last line here sounds like dopey "snappy patter". And I'm not so sure about the convenient window Don can slide open with his foot doesn't make the building sound very secure. Hmmm... of course, maybe the windows are all unlocked as one of the results of Viral's invasion of the building's electronics -- and it could be good to have Don mention it when they are able to get in that way.

12.) Re: the following:

"Furious, Viral explodes with anger and the whole scene disappears in a fuzz of VIDEO STATIC.

When the image resolves, they find themselves in a new holo-simulation, one that looks very familiar… Their old SEWER HIDEOUT. At first they are delighted.

RAPHAEL: Home, sweet home!

MICHAELANGELO: Hey, I wonder if that leftover pepperoni pizza is still in the fridge!

Leo reminds them that this is just a simulation. And then they see something moving in the shadows. It’s the FOOT CLAN! "

Ah, now I see that my idea for the old lair being part of this holographic training thing (see point #4 above) has already been thought of. However, I think it works better per my suggestion, and I think it would be cooler if we used instead a NYC rooftop scenario for this battle.

13.) Re: the following:

"As a wave of Foot soldiers attack them, Viral’s face gloatingly appears on one of the Lieutenants. "

Wouldn't it be much cooler if instead of a mere Lieutenant, it's a simulated SHREDDER?

14.) Re: the following:

"VIRAL: You fight well now. But your pathetic flesh is weak. Soon you will tire. But my soldiers are inexhaustible!

As another wave of Foot soldiers appears from the darkness, Mikey begins to look concerned. He realizes that Viral is right. They can’t keep up this pace forever! As Viral laughs malevolently, the epic fight continues. "

Not that we have to get into the tech stuff TOO deeply, but Viral's line here made me think -- given that we establish that the rock troll Leo fights in the opening simulation was actually a holographically disguised robot, WHAT exactly are these Foot soldiers the Turtles are fighting (and for that matter, the little elves Leo was fighting in the beginning)? Are they, too, robots cloaked in holograms? If so, wouldn't it make sense that Viral's supply of Foot soldiers would NOT be unlimited? I think they would only be unlimited if we establish that in some ways this training room works like STAR TREK's "Holodeck", which uses force fields to simulate physical objects. And maybe only some special opponents -- like the rock troll -- are based on real, physical machines. Although, when you think of it, why bother if you can create holograms which feel like physical objects?

15.) Re: the following:

"Donny explains that he tricked Viral into streaming into an area that he thought was O’Neil Tech’s classified files, but instead it was a dead-end where Donny was able to lock him in.

The other Turtles think Donny’s brilliant until Leo asks where exactly he locked Viral up.

Suddenly, the room SHAKES, and a huge, hulking, six-armed DOJO BATTLE BOT burst out of the wall. They see that Viral’s face is trapped in its viewscreen. Exasperated, Raph turns to Leo. "

Hmm... now WHY, exactly, does bright boy Donny do such a stupid thing? Wouldn't it have occurred to him that putting a malevolent entity like Viral in a dangerous robot's body might not be such a great idea?

It might work well if Don explains (maybe when the others give him some shit about it) that it was the lesser of two evils -- he could either have let Viral continue to pillage O'Neil Tech's computers (unacceptable) or lure Viral into the only place he could figure out to contain it -- the robot body (dangerous, but better than option #1).

16.) Re: the following:

"LEONARDO: I’m gonna lose my linguini! "

NOT a Leo line -- Raph or Mike might say something like this.

17.) Re: the following:

"As the maddened Viral Bot charges at our heroes, Donny tells them to break off the transponder that is located just behind the left shoulder.

Easier said than done! But at great risk, Leo manages to slice the transponder off. However, it doesn’t slow down the lumbering juggernaut. “It didn’t stop him!” complains Leo.

DONATELLO: No, but it cuts off his line of transmission! Now he can’t upload himself out of that robot. "

This seems like a waste of time and an unnecessary action bit -- didn't Don already "lock off all avenues of escape" in Act 3?

18.) Re: the following:

"SERLING: Oh dear! Some of these priceless antiques are a hundred years old!

MICHAELANGELO: Hey! Who’re you calling antiques?

Serling is mortified, and explains that he didn’t mean the Turtles because even though they are a hundred years old, they certainly don’t look it! And furthermore… Mikey laughs and cuts him off. "

Okay, I'm confused -- is Serling a prissy, timid 'droid as he is portrayed in this scene, or the snippy, sarcastic 'droid we saw in the first episode?

19.) Re: the following:

"As Cody takes the Lotus position, Mikey walks by Splinter and chuckles at his frizzed fur.

MICHAELANGELO: Nice doo, master.

When Splinter starts to protest that it’s only temporary, Raph stops him.

RAPHAEL: I thought a true warrior must always adapt to any new situation.

For once, Splinter is at a loss for words. Raph laughs as he walks away, and says that maybe the future isn’t so bad, after all. "

This might be a good place to use the "bad hair day" joke misused earlier (see my comment #7 above).

I'm a little concerned with what I see as the subtext of this scene -- if I am reading it right, Raph is thinking that the future might not be so bad because they can make fun of Master Splinter. That doesn't seem right.

20. ) Re: the following:

"Inside, the vault is crammed with computer equipment. Viral sits amidst the gear and works on repairing his broken robot body. He flexes his repaired hand with obvious satisfaction.

VIRAL: Yes! I’m beginning to like this physical form.

Just then, a vid-screen BEEPS, and he goes to answer it. On the screen, we see a glitchy distorted image of the shadowy and mysterious SH’OKANABO. She is not happy.

SH’OKANABO: You have failed me.

Viral bows his head in shame.

VIRAL: Yes, mistress. But in this form, I am more powerful than ever. Give me one more chance to get down and dirty with those cursed Turtles, and they will pay!"

This doesn't make sense to me. First, it is OBVIOUS that Viral is far LESS powerful trapped in a robot body than he was when he could enter all kinds of electronic systems as will and disrupt/manipulate them. And second, I seriously doubt that after having all that power -- and then having it taken away from him when Don trapped him in this robot -- Viral would "begin to like" this metal body he is STUCK IN.

Also, if Viral is going to reappear in a future episode, do we really want him to be just another hulking robot, or the very dangerous sentient digital intelligence he was in this episode? I think the latter.

Perhaps a better way to play this would be as follows: Viral is not liking his new metal form, he's CURSING it. He pleads with SH'OKANABO to help free him from this prison, but SH'OKANABO expresses his displeasure with Viral's failure by telling him that he must remain in this limited form, as punishment, until SH'OKANABO deigns to free him, for his next mission (whatever that will be).

-- Pete


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Последний раз редактировалось Павел; 07.10.2012 в 10:21.
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