Черепашки-ниндзя   Вселенная  Второй мультсериал (2003 – 2009, 4Kids)  6-ой сезон a.k.a. Fast Forward (2006-2007)   Серия 01 "Future Shellshock!" [118]
   15.01.2009, 23:23  
Серия 01 "Future Shellshock!" [118]
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Название: c03s06e01.jpg
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ID:	21254"Future Shellshock!" / "Удар из будущего"


Автор сценария: Marty Isenberg
Премьера: 29.07.2006
Главный продюсер: Lloyd Goldfine
Продюсеры: Gary Richardson, Frederick U. Fierst, Al Kahn, Norman Grossfeld, Thomas Kenney
Режиссер: Roy Burdine
Сценарист: Lloyd Goldfine

Основные персонажи: Donatello (Sam Regal), Leonardo (Michael Sinterniklaas), Michelangelo (Wayne Grayson), Raphael (John Campbell)
Персонажи второго плана: Master Splinter, Cody Jones, Serling, Constable Biggles, Jammerhead and the Street Phantoms
Местоположения и техника: TMNT Lair, New York City in 2105, Cody's Penthouse Apartment, Hovershell


Полная версия сюжета на английском языке (под спойлером):
 
Intro: Open in the Turtle Lair where Mikey and Raph are fighting over the TV remote. Eventually all four Turtles are battling over the device, but Master Splinter uses his own ninjitsu skills to bind the young ninjas in a carpet. The Sensei grabs the remote and prepares to tune into his favorite soap operas that will begin in five minutes. Mikey states that they still have five minutes to watch his sci-fi show and he reaches out his leg, tapping the remote with his toe. Suddenly the lair is engulfed in blinding blue energy. When the burst of light dissipates, our heroes find themselves without weapons or clothing in a dilapidated, run-down version of the lair. Rushing to the surface, they find themselves not in present-day New York, but in a completely new, futuristic metropolis!
Act 1: As the Turtles and Splinter look around in wonder, they decide to investigate their bewildering new environment. A group of Triceratons pulls up in a delivery truck. Mikey decides to take action. Leaving the others, the rash ninja jumps into the back of the vehicle and, much to his surprise, discovers that the Triceratons are hauling futuristic newspapers! Mike is distracted by the holographic reviews of video games and the door of the truck slams shut, sealing the Turtle inside! The Triceratons take off, unaware of their new passenger. The others chase after the truck by hopping on other cars in hopes of helping Mikey, but as they go higher on the highway, they enter a high gravity zone with poor oxygen. Our heroes gasp for air and fight just to stand in this new sector of the city. Raph manages to leap onto a car that pulls up alongside the delivery truck, but due to the circumstances, he's unable to grab Mike and instead falls onto the street. The Triceraton vehicle zooms off with Mikey still inside as vehicles swerve to miss the rolling turtle. A huge accident ensues. Sirens sound and numerous police vehicles arrive, surrounding our heroes.
A robotic police officer named Constable Biggles emerges and determines that the weakened Turtles and rat must be undocumented aliens. As he turns to inspect and flatter his troops, the TMNT and their Sensei make their escape by climbing down a support beam. Our heroes are now exhausted from their adventure and barely able to move. A large flying limousine arrives and the driver tells the Turtles to get inside if they want to live...
Act 2: Seeing no other alternative, Splinter and his sons climb arduously into the stretch limo, which escapes unnoticed by the pursuing police. Inside the car, Splinter and the Turtles (minus Mikey) are greeted by Serling, the robot driver. Serling gives the Green Team high-tech gear (an Enviro Pack, Graviton Regulator and Wrist Translator) so they can breathe, adjust to different gravities, and translate alien language.
Meanwhile, Mikey accidentally finds his way out of the delivery truck. The Turtle bounces through traffic until he finally falls into a dumpster in a low gravity area.
Cut back to the others as the limo finally arrives at its destination, a luxurious penthouse inside an equally impressive skyscraper. Serling introduces the TMNT to his master, a young male teen. The lad greets the heroes with enthusiasm and shows them his shrine to the Turtles, which contains old newspaper clippings, original Turtle gear, various vehciles, an empty TCRI ooze container, an Utrom exo-skeleton, a dormant Fugitoid, Baxter Stockman's robotic body and Foot Clan paraphernalia that includes Shredder's suit of armor!
The boy stands in front of a podium holding Casey Jones' hockey mask and golf bag and explains that this is his collection, left behind by his great-grandparents, April and Casey Jones! The chipper teen is Cody Jones, the extremely rich owner of O’Neil Tech, and heir to the Jones/O’Neil fortune - and he's accidentally brought the TMNT to New York City in the year 2105!
Act 3: Cody explains that he had read all about the TMNT in April and Casey's journals and he was inspired to create a machine that would allow him to view their exciting past. The young scientist was successful in creating his "time window", but unfortunately it had an adverse side-effect and rather than just allowing Jones to watch the Turtles' exploits, it actually teleported them to the future! Cody reveals that he has no idea why this happened and thus he cannot send them back home. Serling makes Splinter a new outfit while the TMNT don their old masks (taken from Cody's collection).
Cut to Mikey, confused and suffering from the gravity and poor air quality. A phantom-like stranger approaches and motions to the packs that all of the pedestrians are wearing. Mikey figures out that he needs his own gear to get around. The stranger motions for Mike to follow him into an alleyway. Having few alternatives, the ninja struggles to keep up with the stranger as he travels deeper into the darkened alleys.
Back at Cody's apartment, Jones and Don figure out a way to track Mikey. Cody takes the Turtles to a giant hangar and introduces them to the Hovershell, a futuristic vehicle Cody made from one of Don’s future designs! Our heroes pile into the vehicle and take off - as they do, Cody explains that he hasn't had much practice with the Hover Shell - which is very apparent by his poor piloting skills!
Cut to Mikey as he enters the alleyway and approaches a lone vehicle. Hands emerge from the street and grab the Turtle's ankles as a group of men, all dressed the same as the stranger, materialize from thin air. The door opens on the truck and we see a group of aliens imprisoned there - Mike determines that his "friend" is a slave trader. Mikey is now the prisoner of the Street Phantoms!
Act 4: Just as the Street Phantoms are grabbing Mikey, Cody and the others arrive in the Hover Shell. Cody remains on board as Leo, Don, Raph, Splinter and Serling hit the street to save Mikey. A fight ensues. Serling gives Mikey the same gear he gave the others and the jubilant ninja joins his brothers in battle. The combat is particularly difficult because the Phantoms can make themselves as intangible as ghosts. Splinter explains that rather than going on the offensive and literally grasping at thin air, they must go on defense until their foes become corporeal. At that instant, they must attack. Using this tactic, our heroes defeat most of the Phantoms. Their leader, Jammerhead, tries to sneak-attack the Turtles from behind, but Cody spots the villain and smashes into him with some skillful piloting of the Hovershell - apparently the kid is a quick study!
Jammerhead recovers and vows vengeance before disappearing into a wall. Our heroes fly off in the Hover Shell just as officer Biggles and his police force arrives. Upon seeing the unconscious Street Phantom gang, Constable Biggles orders his men to arrest the slave-trading criminals (and takes full credit for capturing them).
Back at the penthouse apartment, Cody worries about the Turtles' ability to adjust to the future. Mikey finds the holographic TV remote and begins to explore his options - until Raph arrives and takes it from him. Splinter smiles, pats Cody on the shoulder and tells the boy that the Turtles will have no trouble adapting to the year 2105.

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Последний раз редактировалось Casey; 05.09.2017 в 21:03.
Спасибо за пост (1) от: Klunk
12.11.2009, 13:01
Меня эта серия бесит...Зачем майки полез в грузовик к трицератонам он что думал что он справиться с ними один?Этот полецейский тоже какой-то то странный...Опять же со зрачками путаница(не буду обьяснять сами всё знаете)И вообще сезон получился каким то детским и сюжет не особо интересный...Сюжет начинают из пальца высасывать...
Короче незнаю как вам ,а меня Fast Forward бесит...
12.11.2009, 13:39
А по моему единственная серия 6 сезона, которая мне нравится!
19.02.2010, 13:56
А кто заметил что когда Майки упал на летающую машину за рулём был двойник Бибоба!?
Спасибо за пост (1) от: Wexton
19.02.2010, 14:35
Это был просто инопланетянин, а не Бибоп, но он был показан, как отсылка к мультсериалу 1987 (то есть к Бибопу).
11.03.2011, 15:56
В этой серии Майки меня просто поразил, вот зачем он полез в этот грузовик? Его же никто не дергал
11.03.2011, 16:01
Как они с помощью пульта от телика умудрились в будующее попасть?
06.04.2011, 23:20

  Сообщение от Федя 

Меня эта серия бесит...Зачем майки полез в грузовик к трицератонам он что думал что он справиться с ними один?Этот полецейский тоже какой-то то странный...Опять же со зрачками путаница(не буду обьяснять сами всё знаете)И вообще сезон получился каким то детским и сюжет не особо интересный...Сюжет начинают из пальца высасывать...
Короче незнаю как вам ,а меня Fast Forward бесит...

Терпимо
04.06.2011, 06:27

  Сообщение от Донателло Сплинтерс 

мне нравится эта серия, вы заметили , что раф ошибочно сказал 2101!

Да это просто недоработка сценаристов, я так думаю.
29.12.2011, 14:13
Мне понравилась эта серия.
Во -первых - Майки потерялся во многомиллионном городе.
Во-вторых -Раф разозлился что он в будущем.
В -третьих -Черепашки нашли новых союзников-Коуди и Серлик (правда Серлик трусоват.
А то что Раф оговорился это ничего.Мне кажется это даже лучше.Это придаёт ему эмоцию расстерянности и злости.
14.02.2012, 19:40
palblog :: Blast from the Past #472: July 14, 2005: Re: TMNT2105 Episode 1? :: 14.02.2012 19:33







Subj: Re: TMNT2105 Episode 1?
Date: Thursday, July 14, 2005 1:10:58 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine


In a message dated 7/13/05 2:37:42 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –

Attached is a very rough premise for the first episode. It needs some adjustment, but I think it’s a good jumping off point for us to get a writer working on a full-up outline. Give it a look-see, send me your notes, and lets discuss. I haven’t sent it out to the rest of the distribution list yet - - I wanted your thoughts first!

As always, thanks mucho!

Lloyd



Lloyd,

Here are my comments on the Episode 1 Premise (and a little bit more).

1.) Re: the state of the lair when they arrive in the future: I think it would be fun to play with some little mystery -- which we may or may not explain in future episodes -- by having things be, in addition to dusty and rotting, slightly altered (i.e. furniture moved around, new machines and gizmos in the lair, etc.) implying that somebody was in the lair AFTER they were. The Turtles can briefly remark on it as they find their way out. One question which just occurred to me: We currently have the Turtles' lair in that old pumping station in Central Park. Is it likely that a century could have gone by without someone discovering it? Might want to think about that a little.

2.) Re: the following:

"Meanwhile, Mikey finds a kind ALIEN who lends him an ENVIROPACK that helps with his breathing the “new air” and dealing with the extra gravity of the new world."

I'm still not one hundred percent crazy about the "new air" thing. Maybe the extra purity of the air doesn't make them choke and gag, but actually acts like alcohol or some other inebriating substance -- they could get a little "drunk" on the air. (Or "silly" or "lightheaded" might be a better way to put it for Saturday morning.) However we play this gag, I think we should quickly lose it (I'm already tired of it) by doing something like having their mutant biology rapidly adapt to it or something.
And by "extra gravity", is the writer referring to the different "gravity zones" we talked about? I don't think it would be a good idea to have Earth's overall gravity be changed.

3.) Re: the following:

"This Kid knows all about them, but isn’t saying anything, just that he’s “there to help.

I think it would be more fun if the kid THINKS he knows all about them, but it will turn out that his knowledge of the Turtles and their history is incomplete, due to the fact that there was little recorded about them, and most of what he has to go on has been passed down through his family. An initial fun gag might be that he's a little intimidated by them -- "Y-You're bigger than I thought you'd be!"

4.) Re: the following:

"Mikey’s having a ball trying to live out all of his favorite scenes from sci-fi flicks! (Trying to get aliens to heal his cut finger. Making things burst from his chest, etc.) And in doing so, he runs afoul some ALIEN THUGS who don’t get the joke… uh oh…"

"Making things burst from his chest"...? Not sure that one works. Anyway, it seems a little off that Mike would just be playing around in these strange circumstances -- I'd think he would want to find his brothers quickly rather than just goof around

5.) This thought just came to me: Maybe one of the ways --especially in big cities of the future -- that the air is kept pure and clean is that there are hundreds of flying "Scrubbers"... dirigible-sized robot drone ships that endlessly fly at low speeds thought the city airspace, sucking in air and filtering out anything nasty. A couple of possible uses for these in future episodes:

-- the contaminants and poisons that the scrubbers filter out of the air are stored onboard and later emptied into safe holding facilities. This concentrated and dangerous filth might be used for some nefarious purpose by some evildoers.

-- because the Scrubbers suck in all these particulates that are in the air, they also suck in various biological material -- skin flakes, hair, bad breath -- and computers onboard record and file time-coded information on all of these pollutants. If the Turtles needed to try to find someone (one of their friends or one of their enemies), Don could get the brilliant idea to hack into the ScrubNet and try to get a DNA match on some of these particles, leading the Turtles to the general area where the particles were found.

6.) I think we need to be very careful to not make Cody into one of those impossibly smart kids who solves every problem -- in other words (to use a STAR TREK reference) let's not Wesley Crusher-ize him. He should have at least as many flaws and foibles as he has smarts and wealth.

7.) Another thought that just came to me: It might be fun to have holographic computer simulated versions (either insubstantial or solid like STAR TREK holodeck holograms) of the original Casey and April, programmed by them (and their descendants) to be as close to the originals as possible. They could be used by Cody for teaching and reference... and to some extent, companionship. Might make for some fun interactions with the Turtles and Splinter. And maybe one of Don's projects is to use his first-hand knowledge of the original Casey and April to reprogram the holograms so that they are more like the actual people that he knew.

-- Pete


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All TMNT-related images © Mirage Studios unless otherwise noted. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles® is a registered trademark of Mirage Studios; all rights reserved.
20.02.2012, 20:30
palblog :: Blast from the Past #475: July 22, 2005: Re: FW: 118 ("Future Shellshock") Outline :: 20.02.2012 20:23






Subj: Re: FW: 118 ("Future Shellshock") Outline
Date: Friday, July 22, 2005 2:44:46 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine


In a message dated 7/21/05 8:40:45 PM, Lloyd writes:

"Howdy all -

Attached please find the first rough draft outline for TMNT episode 118
(aka TMNT 2105 episode ONE!).

We're anxious to get our writer started scripting over the weekend, so
it would be greatly appreciated if we could have your comments by end of
day tomorrow (EST).

Feel free to call with any questions, comments, concerns, curses, etc.

Thanks mucho,

Lloyd"



Lloyd,

Here are my comments on the Ep.118 outline.

1.) Re: the following:

"Splinter sighs: "Fifteen years of ninja training and it all boils down to Ultimate Sumo Makeover vs. Zombies From Saturn: The Director's Cut." "

This line is fine -- it just doesn't sound like it's coming from Splinter. Maybe Leo or Don should say it.

2.) Before I forget -- I think we need to do a little something in this season's shows -- not TOO much, but SOMETHING -- to show that they guys MISS their friends (Casey, April, the Professor, SIlver Sentry, Angel, etc.) and their environment from the past. In other words, while they are prepared to adapt to the future NYC (and they will adapt) , they're still not really HAPPY to be there.

3.) Re: the following:

"(NOTE: If there's room, I'd like to get a running gag out of Splinter not being able to tell the Turtles apart without their masks.)"

To my mind, this is a REALLY dumb, lazy gag -- after raising them for fifteen-plus years, Splinter SURELY knows how to tell one Turtle from another. He could tell them apart with his eyes closed! Now CODY -- that's another story. It might be funny when he meets them for the first time, he mixes up their names.

4.) Re: the following:

"Splinter urges his sons to remain in the shadows and observe... but overzealous Mikey leaps onto the truck, prepared to strike from above. Just then, the Triceratons reach into the back of the vehicle and pull out... a stack of newspapers?! Only they're not like any newspapers we've ever seen: they're like disposable, flexible laptop screens with scrolling strange alien writing and moving pictures!

The guys are so dumbstruck that they don't notice the Triceratons hop back into their vehicle and take off like a shot -- with Mikey on top!"

The description of the future "newspapers" is cool... but I'd like to suggest an addition -- these "videopapers" also have a daily VIDEOGAME built into them! Complete with an obvious "control pad" with buttons at the bottom of the front page. If it worked out, we could actually have Mikey notice this and -- given his videogame addiction -- he could get distracted by this, adding to the likelihood that he wouldn't notice that he should jump off the Triceratons' paper delivery vehicle.

5.) Re: the following:

"The guys quickly lose the Hover Limo among what turn out to be holographic trees -- when a MASSIVE VEHICLE lands nearby and out leap two TRICERATONS. "

"Holographic trees" is an interesting idea -- but maybe misused in this context. I don't see WHY they should be there.

6.) Re: the following:

"Leo urges them to take to the rooftops but... where are the rooftops?! The buildings are so tall now you can't even see the tops through the clouds!"

That seems more than a little preposterous... and if TRUE, seriously cuts down on one of the most fun action things the Turtles typically do -- run around on rooftops.

7.) Re: the following:

"PENTHOUSE - Stepping from the limo, the guys enter the most palatial apartment they've ever seen. It's a testament to wealth and power, a technological marvel. It's enough to make a Turtle swoon. In fact, they all swoon, not from the sight, but from the lack of atmosphere up here. Splinter and the Turtles promptly BLACK OUT..."

This is a good example of how ridiculous this whole atmosphere bit can become if we let it. Think about it -- the guys have just entered Cody's apartment -- and there's NO BREATHABLE AIR???!! That's just silly. I think it would work much better if Serling sees that the Turtles and Splinter are still having breathing problems from the strange atmosphere previous scene, and because of THAT he gives them the breathing devices.
Speaking of which -- it seems logical that ALL living beings should be outfitted with these Enviropacks if they intend to move freely throughout the city -- so Cody, Biggles et al should be wearing them. Maybe some thought should be given to slightly different designs for these things to indicate occupation, status, etc., keeping a few common practical elements but allowing for some freedom of design. For example, the Peacekeepers might have enviropacks that have a more military/police look to them, and so on.
Speaking of Peacekeepers -- is their another cool word we could use/invent for their name? "Peacekeeper", while a perfectly fine word, has already been used prominently in sci-fi (I'm thinking "Farscape" right now). How about "Pacifactors"?

8.) Re: the following:

"Cody shyly fesses up that he's read about the Turtles in his great grandfather's journal (prompting Don to remark, "I didn't know Casey could read, let alone write!")."

That kind of line sounds like something Mike or Raph would say, not Don.

9.) Re: the following:

"We go into a FLASHBACK as Cody explains that, dying for just a glimpse of his heroes in action, he tried inventing a "time window" that would let him observe them in their own time. Only there was an accident and the Turtles sort of... fell through. "

Given that we desperately want to avoid "Wesley Crusher" syndrome, while making clear that Cody is an extremely bright kid, it occurred to me while reading this that it might be a great way to introduce the Utroms into this new future setting, and specifically one Utrom who I have featured in several issues of the TMNT comic -- the young and brilliant unconventional Glurin, who, in one of the TMNT comics, had been experimenting with Utrom transmat tech to construct a trans-dimensional viewer. Wouldn't it be cool if young Cody had an Utrom pal? I think it would. And maybe Glurin supplied Cody with some of the tech that he used to make his "time viewer". And maybe Glurin is the SECOND biggest Turtle fan (after Cody), one of the reasons being that the Turtles knew his father, Mr. Mortu!

10.) Re: the following:

"Cody proudly shows off his PERSONAL LAB, explaining that he "sort of owns a company... the biggest company... anywhere." "

While it is fine by me that O'Neiltech (should be one word, I think) is a BIG company, I see no compelling reason why it should be "the biggest company... anywhere". In fact, there are several good reasons why it SHOULDN'T be, not the least being that if it WERE "the biggest company... anywhere", Cody -- as owner -- would be the center of insanely intense scrutiny by the press, and that could make his interactions with the Turtles and Splinter problematic to say the least.

11.) Re: the following:

"Observing a monitor, Cody suddenly panics. It looks like the "time window" he accidentally opened is starting to close. "

I think we need to get this straight. Cody didn't "accidentally" open a time WINDOW (i.e. for VIEWING the past) -- he DELIBERATELY did that -- but he DID accidentally open up a time PORTAL (through which things from the past can come).
Also, I don't think Cody should "suddenly panic" while "observing a monitor" -- I think it would be better if he is aware all this time that the portal is still open, and also that he himself isn't really sure how much longer it will be there -- but his best guess is not very long. Also, HE shouldn't be the one who pushes the idea of the Turtles' returning to the past -- it should be the Turtles who press him on this. After all, they don't really want to be here, and they are (at least at this point in time, they might mellow some later) ticked off at this little brat for bringing them here against their will.

12.) Re: the following:

"Serling explains that he was instructed to retrieve "the Turtles". The Master didn't specify how many. "

There is an opportunity for humor here, but this is not it. It's ridiculous to think that Serling would not know how many Turtles there are if his Master is such a huge fan of them.

13.) Re: the following:

In any case, they need to get moving and find Mikey! But before they do... “Can we borrow those old masks?”

There might be some fun in having some comments about how funky the old masks smell. I also thought it might be fun if -- as temporary cover -- Serling gives Splinter one of Cody's bathrobes to wear (maybe at Cody's order) because the ancient Spliinter robe on display is literally falling apart. Some fun might be had here if the bathrobe was ALMOST the right size ( I suspect that Cody is a little taller than Splinter?). Maybe Cody has even had images of the Turtles woven into the bathrobe! (A sneaky little fun comment about merchandising.)

14.) It just occurred to me that there might be a fun way to get flashes of the old episodes into this season -- Cody could have a very high tech "holodeck" type thing which he puts at the Turtles' disposal... and in one episode Don might program it with a battle training program featuring -- THE SHREDDER and the FOOT and KARAI! And if we really wanted to push it, we could even do an episode where somehow these villains escape the "holodeck" and wreak havoc, or the Turtles get trapped in the holodeck's imaginary world with the "safeties" off! The fans would love it, I think.

15.) Re: the following:

" They pile in, waiting for Cody to drive... but he's still afraid to leave the house. "I could get in trouble.""

If we are really going to do this bit about Cody never leaving the apartment, we should have a REALLY good reason for it. What "trouble" is he going to get into? Is he traumatized because his parents went out and got killed in a flying car accident? Is he agoraphobic? Is he just painfully shy? This gag will only work if we have a solid base for it. Right now, I don't even see a halfway decent reason for it, and the story works fine without it.

16.) Re: the following:

"Cody neglected to mention that he doesn't know how to drive. Donny takes the wheel as they nearly crash into Constable Biggles, forcing him to spill his alien sushi all over himself and worse, his beloved paperwork. "

The "doesn't know how to drive" gag is pretty tired, and pretty DOPEY, considering that this kid has the resources and smarts to practice driving in a SIMULATOR, even if he never does it in the "real" world. Maybe that could be the gag instead of not knowing how to drive -- Cody knows how to drive, but all his experience has been simulated and this is his first trip in the the chaotic and messy "real world". So he can get around okay, but with a lot of close calls that could rattle the Turtles in amusing ways.

17.) Re: the following:

"MEANWHILE, IN THE ALLEY - Mikey enters, finding the Alien Street Vendor is gone. Instead, THE STREET PHANTOMS, a multi-species street gang led by JAMMER-HEAD, "decloak" and seemingly materialize out of nowhere, surrounding Mikey. "

I think we should try to make the effect for these guys significantly differently than our cloaked Foot Tech Ninjas from past episodes. One thought I had is that when these guys decloak, they start to appear from one body part and then it's like they are on a screen which is unrolling (or extending) until you see their whole bodies (and the reverse for cloaking). Or maybe they flash briefly in a negative version of themselves before they cloak or decloak.

18.) Re: the following:

"The guys turn to Cody. Can he create another window? Yes. Absolutely. In theory. As soon as he can figure out what caused the accident that created the first one. Looks like they're gonna be stuck in the future for a little while. "Oh well," says Mikey, "At least we still have our old lair."

Then suddenly... Metal , granite around them. The guys haul shell outta their just in the nick of time as THE ENTIRE LAIR COLLAPSES!"

It's a funny visual gag, but why does the lair collapse RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT? This is the kind of slapstick humor that I'm not crazy about -- things happening with no rhyme or reason other than "it's funny!". I think we need SOME kind of explanation, even if it's some pseudoscientific claptrap from Don or Cody (i.e. "It appears the temporal displacement field weakened the main support structures of the lair").
Actually, it might be funny if Mikey does something like pats one of the beams before he says his line... and THAT'S the "straw that broke the camel's back", that small impact pushing the damaged lair over the edge.

19.) Re: the following:

"Suddenly the Speeder into a floating billboard. "...or how to drive."

And with the Shell Speeder embedded into the face of an alien spokesmodel we FADE OUT. "

This is a dopey gag ripped off from the credit/intro sequence from "Futurama" -- let's lose it. A near miss/scrape would be better in my opinion.
Also, while I SUSPECT that calling the vehicle they are in the "Shell Speeder" is a shorthand way for us to understand that this will be -- or will serve as the basis for -- a "Turtleized" vehicle in later episodes, we should all recognize that there is no way at this point in the season that they could possibly have a "Shell Speeder" per se. Right?

-- Pete

P.S. What is your take on my earlier comment about the name "Darius Dun"?


------------------------------------------------------------

оригинальная запись в блоге

------------------------------------------------------------

All TMNT-related images © Mirage Studios unless otherwise noted. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles® is a registered trademark of Mirage Studios; all rights reserved.

Последний раз редактировалось Павел; 04.10.2012 в 07:33.
24.02.2012, 18:50
palblog :: Blast from the Past #478: :: 24.02.2012 18:47






Subj: Re: 118 foist draft
Date: Sunday, July 31, 2005 11:58:16 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/31/05 4:22:50 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –

Just a reminder, we’re looking for your notes on 118 script as soon as possible.

Also, FYI, after Monday I will be out of town for the rest of the week. I have to travel to England with Norman on behalf of some other 4Kids business, but hopefully I will be able to access my BiGdUMMY e-mail. We return late Friday.

Hope yer havin’ a nice weekend…

Lloyd


Lloyd,

Here are my notes on the 118 first draft.

1.) Re: the following:

"RAPHAEL
Where's our masks? And our WEAPONS?! I feel totally naked here!
REVEAL SPLINTER - His robe and walking stick are gone.
SPLINTER
Speak for yourselves, my sons."

Splinter's line is kind of lame and unnecessary. And why is he referring to all of the Turtles when it was just Raph who talked about being naked? It also doesn't make any sense -- if Raph were naked but Splinter clothed, THEN it would make sense. But they're both naked!

2.) Reading this, a thought occurred to me -- if Cody is such a big fan of and knows so much about the Turtles, AND he obviously knows this used to be their lair (he is using his "time window"on them, after all) -- wouldn't he have previously EMPTIED the lair of any objects of significance? If so, maybe that should be reflected in the state of the lair, i.e. it is mostly empty of artifacts.

3.) Re: the following:

"INT. ACCESS TUNNEL TO SURFACE - SECONDS LATER
Splinter and the Turtles trudge through the tunnel, , their movements slow and lumbering.
DONATELLO
Is it... just me... or is it... really hard... to breathe... all of a sudden?
MICHELANGELO
And why does... my body... feel like it... weighs a ton?
RAPHAEL
Prob'ly from all that... junk food.
The Turtles and Splinter arrive at the surface access (not sure where this is), THEIR FACES SUDDENLY BATHED IN LIGHT, reacting in open-mouthed shock to what they see outside. "

It seems really weird that this happens in a TUNNEL (and what's up with this "access tunnel", anyway? If it's something new that was added AFTER they were taken from the lair by the time window, why don't they comment on it? And do they really NEED a tunnel to get into/out of their lair? I can't remember the layout too clearly. And how much of Central Park has survived into the future?) ... and then isn't referenced again for several pages. And then there's THIS weird line a few pages later:

"DONATELLO
Worse than it was on the ground..."

Weird because when it happened to them before, they weren't ON the ground, they were UNDER the ground. I think the introduction to our atmosphere/gravity zones concept needs to be handled better.

4.) Re: the following:

"LEONARDO
Guys? I know it's a cliche, but I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

That is a cliche, and one of the most egregiously over-used in the world. We don't need it. Let's lose it, and not have anything there, or think up a better expression.

5.) In the scene where Mike jumps onto the flatbed with the Triiceratons, it's unclear whether they notice him jumping on or not.

6.) Re: the following:

"NEW ANGLE - Leaping from Hovercar to Hovercar, the Turtles and Splinter pass a FLOATING SIGN with unreadable alien writing. After they pass, the sign turns to English and reads:
UPTOWN, LEVEL 1 (TEMPERATURE: 72∞ (GRAVITY: 3 ATMOSPHERES (AIR CONTENT: SULPHUROUS"

It seems odd to have a measurement of GRAVITY be "3 atmospheres" (especially when "atmospheres" is a measure of AIR PRESSURE in our present. It is also more than a a little confusing when we are dealing with our new concept of different gravity and atmosphere zones... why conflate the two?

7.) Re: the following:

"ON TURTLES AND SPLINTER - on their hands and knees, weighted down by gravity and breathlessness, barely able to move, while Splinter seems to be unaffected by it all."

Okay... why is Splinter not affected? Seems weird and illogical.

8.) Re: the following:

"SPLINTER
Use your Ninja training, my sons. Control your breathing. Adapt your bodies to your surroundings.
Slowly, Leo, Don and Raph, rising to their feet (Biggles still prattling on in b.g.)."

Okay, so now they can use ninja techniques to breathe different atmospheres and defy gravity? I don't think so.

9.) Re: the following:

"REVERSE - A 14-year-old kid stands framed in the doorway, eyes wide with awe.
CODY
You're a lot taller than I imagined... greener too.
SPLINTER AND THE TURTLES - jump off Serling and rush to Cody."

Why do they "rush to Cody"?

10.) Re: the following:

"DONATELLO - looks past Cody into the Penthouse, eyes wide and jaw dropping at what he sees.
DONATELLO
(shocked)
And what the heck is THAT?

INT. PENTHOUSE - ENTRY HALL/TROPHY ROOM - CONTINUOUS
REVERSE ANGLE TO REVEAL - A SHRINE TO THE TURTLES! Wall to wall bits of memorabilia, old newspaper clippings, the TCRI canister, a Shredder helmet, even the Turtles' masks. And at the center of it all... CASEY JONES' HOCKEY MASK, GOLF BAG, BATS, HOCKEY STICK, ETC. The Turtles and Splinter enter, shocked and awed."

If this IS indeed the layout that we pan to use, then I have to raise my question once more (the one that I posed in a previous email) -- does Darius know about Cody's TMNT collection? It seems like it's pretty obvious, like anyone who enters the penthouse would just see it (like Don does here), and doesn't it make sense that Darius would have been in Cody's penthouse any number of times?

11.) Re: the following:

"He crabs Cody by the color, lifting him off the floor."

I think that should be:

"He grabs Cody by the collar, lifting him off the floor."

12.) Re: the following:

"CODY
Please... don't be mad... I-it's mine. It belonged to me great grandparents!"

"ME great grandparents"...?

13.) Re: the following:

"CODY
Sorry. My great grandfather's journal didn't have any pictures of you guys. "

WHAT???!!! All this stuff, and he doesn't have ONE PICTURE OF THEM???!! Just totally, ridiculously silly.( And wasn't he just looking at them through the FREAKIN' TIME WINDOW???!!!)
If we want to do a gag where Cody can't tell them apart, just do the obvious one -- it really IS hard (even for us!) to tell the Turtles apart when they are "naked".

14.) Re: the following:

"CODY
Sorry. Y'know, you guys should have, like, color coded masks or something. "

Another totally silly bit. See point 13 above. (And didn't we already see a page or so ago that Cody has the Turtles' colored masks IN HIS FREAKIN' COLLECTION???!!!)

15.) Re: the following:

"REVEAL THE TIME WINDOW - an impressive array of machinery.
DONATELLO
A time machine?
CLOSE ON CODY - As he fiddles with controls, an IMAGE OF THE TURTLES' LAIR (as it is in 2105) appears on a monitor.
CODY
Actually, a time WINDOW. It was only supposed to VIEW the past. The time TRAVEL part was an accident. One that I have no idea how to recreate, Mikey.
WIDEN TO REVEAL - Cody's looking at Leo, who's pretty miffed.
LEONARDO
STILL Leo. And does that mean we're stuck here in the future? "

Sigh... this makes it the THIRD time Cody has made the same STUPID mistake. THIS is the brilliant inventor of a time window? Shouldn't he have started to recognize Leo's VOICE by now?

16.) Re: the following:

"CODY
Unfortunately, yes.
(beat, realizing)
Say, where IS Mikey?
RAPHAEL - Serling on the back of the head.
RAPHAEL
We lost him! That's what we been tryin' ta tell yer walkin' toaster here.
CODY - rushes to the exit.
CODY
Then we need to find him before he causes too much trouble!
SERLING - over and blocks Cody's path.
SERLING
Now, master. You KNOW you're not allowed to leave the house. "

Cody's words ("we need to find him before he causes too much trouble!") and his actions (rushing to the exit) are very weird. Why is Cody so worried about Mikey "causing too much trouble"? Wouldn't he be more likely worried that Mikey would GET into trouble that he doesn't himself CAUSE, simply because he's in a future he knows little or nothing about? And I thought Cody didn't go outside because he was scared/timid/agoraphobic, not because he wasn't ALLOWED to. How does his immediately "rushing to the exit" fit with that?

17.) Re: the following:

"SERLING
(explaining to Turtles/Splinter)
Master Jones is the owner of O'Neil Tech, the premiere manufacturer of terran technologies on this or any planet. The outside world is far too dangerous place for him. "

As we discussed in previous emails, O'Neil Tech is NOT "the premiere manufacturer of terran technologies on this or any planet".

18.) Re: the following:

"CODY - examines the readout more closely, reacting disappointed.
CODY
Bad news. You only have ten minutes before it closes up permanently. "

How does Cody know this? Isn't it already clear that Cody was as surprised as anyone by the opening of the time portal? How, then, does he know so much so definitively about how it works? This could be fixed easily, as follows:

"CODY - examines the readout more closely, reacting disappointed.
CODY
Bad news. You only have ten minutes before it closes up -- maybe permanently this time! "

19.) Re: the following:

"The Turtles and Splinter scramble into the vehicle. Cody is about to pile in after them when Serling steps in his way.
SERLING
Surely you're not thinking of going with them, Master?
Cody wriggles past Serling and inside the Speeder.
CODY
I wouldn't miss this for the world."

Again, what is up with Cody? Is he a kid who WANTS to go outside but is held back, or is he SCARED to go outside most of the time? I thought from our previous discussions it was the latter, but this makes it seem like the former.

20.) Re: the following:

"DONNIE - and puts it in gear.
DONATELLO
I'm assuming this thing drives just like the BattleShell."

The BattleShell, as far as I can recall, didn't FLY. Maybe this could be enhanced as follows:

"DONNIE - and puts it in gear.
DONATELLO
I'm assuming this thing drives just like the BattleShell.
(beat) Except for the flying part."

21.) Re: the following:

"CODY
Sorry, Darius, you're breaking up.
(calling back to Turtles)
And what's with the disappearing act?
The Turtles and Splinter pull themselves out of the shadows.
LEONARDO
Sorry. Force of habit."

So Cody knows all about them... but he doesn't know about their "ninja hiding" thing?

22.) Re: the following:

"LEO, RAPH, DON AND SPLINTER - leap at the Street Phantoms, who TURN INTANGIBLE, causing our heroes to phase right through them and hard into the wall behind them.
MICHELANGELO
Oh yeah. Prob'ly shoulda mentioned they can do that."

And why should Mikey have mentioned that? As far as I can tell, he's NEVER SEEN THEM DO IT BEFORE!!!

23.) Re: the following:

"CODY
Oh man! They need help!
(beat realizing)
How can they need help? I thought they were invincible."

Why would Cody think the Turtles were "invincible"?

24.) Re: the following:

"DON AND A STREET PHANTOM - circle one another, each one feinting, but not attacking (they've both wised up by this point). Suddenly another Phantom PHASES up from the ground behind Don and TURNS SOLID. Thinking fast, Don leaps up and grabs onto an overhang (fire escape?), as the two Phantoms leap in to attack and end up into each other. "

Might be cool and creepy to do something here where when the two Street Phantoms slam into each other, they accidentally phase into each other and get STUCK, forming a bizarre-looking combination creature.

-- Pete


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оригинальная запись в блоге

------------------------------------------------------------

All TMNT-related images © Mirage Studios unless otherwise noted. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles® is a registered trademark of Mirage Studios; all rights reserved.

Последний раз редактировалось Павел; 06.10.2012 в 09:17. Причина: лишнее
26.02.2012, 19:10
palblog :: Blast from the Past #480: August 3, 2005: Re: Show 118 ("Future Shellshock") Second Draft and Show 120 ("Home Invasion") Outline :: 26.02.2012 19:09






Subj: Re: Show 118 ("Future Shellshock") Second Draft and Show 120 ("Home Invasion") Outline
Date: Wednesday, August 3, 2005 1:29:57 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

Here are my comments on the 118 second draft.

1.) Re: the following:

"REVEAL SPLINTER - His robe and walking stick are gone.
* SPLINTER
You don' t say. "

This is slightly less lame than the line it replaces, but it's still bad. It doesn't sound at all like Splinter. Let's just have him do a "take" as he realizes that his clothes are gone. Or just skip this bit entirely.

2.) Re: the following:

"LEONARDO
Forget the TV. The whole lair is gone!
* DONATELLO
No, more like it decomposed."

Don's line is worse than the one it replaced:

"DONATELLO
It's like the place suddenly... aged."

Why the change? "Aged" is far more appropriate to the situation -- and how the lair looks -- than "decomposed". And because "decomposed" generally refers to things that were once alive going through the process of rotting after death, it's really not appropriate, ESPECIALLY coming from science nerd Don.

3.) Re: the following:

"RAPHAEL
What the shell just happened?
ON SPLINTER - heading for the exit.
* SPLINTER
An attack? We must inspect the damage."

Again, a line inferior to the one it replaces:

"SPLINTER
There is only one way to find out..."

The new line is weird and goofy -- Splinter thinks the lair has been attacked... so he goes OUTSIDE to "inspect the damage"?
I think there may be too much effort going on in this script to hold off the big reveal of the "surprise" -- that the Turtles and Splinter have been zapped into the future -- when in all likelihood it's not going to be too much of a surprise, given the clues that we are dropping. And there is a real danger of making the Turtles -- who have been through many weird adventures INCLUDING time travel -- look pretty DUMB if they don't at least have SOME inkling of what may have just happened. I mean, think about it -- they ALL recognize that they are in the same lair, but everything looks old. Hmmm...

4.) Re: the following:

"INT. ACCESS TO SURFACE - SECONDS LATER
Splinter and the Turtles make their way upwards, , their movements slow and lumbering.
DONATELLO
Is it... just me... or is it... really hard... to breathe... all of a sudden?
MICHELANGELO
And why does... my body... feel like it... weighs a ton?
* RAPHAEL
Prob'ly all that... junk food, Porkins. "

I still feel this is a very poor introduction to the gravity/atmosphere zones concept, ESPECIALLY as, when you consider what happens a few pages later, it's really superfluous... on top of not making much sense. See my last set of comments for more detail.

5.) Re: the following:

"ON TURTLES AND SPLINTER - on their hands and knees, weighted down by gravity and breathlessness, barely able to move, while Splinter seems to be unaffected by it all."

I might -- MIGHT -- buy the idea that Splinter has better breath control than the Turtles and can thus resist longer the effects of the different atmosphere. But the idea that he can somehow not be affected by the gravity that is weighing down the Turtles is just dopey.

6.) Re: the following:

"* BIGGLES
Quite the blaster buster, wot? Identification."

"Blaster buster"? If this is an attempt at "future slang", it's lame. It's also unnecessary.

7.) Re: the following:

"* BIGGLES
Crumpets. Look high and low! They can t be far!"

"Crumpets"? See point 6.

8.) Re: the following:

"* RAPHAEL
All right, you got our attention. Talk --
* DONATELLO
(sotto)
Or we ll pass out all over his fine Corinthian leather?"

Why is Don doing a bad Mikey joke, and why is he phrasing it as a question? I'd lose this and go back to the original.

9.) Re: the following:

"Suddenly Mikey's descent slows as if he's light as a feather... which he is because there's hardly any gravity here. He takes a , overjoyed... but when he tries to speak &
* BUBBLES come out of his ears. "

Has the writer actually SEEN any of the TMNT episodes? Where, exactly are these ears the bubbles will be coming out of?

10.) Re: the following:

"RAPHAEL
Dat s it! I m done with all this crazy alien no air Twilight Zone bunk! Talk!"

"Dat's"?

11.) Re: the following:

* LEONARDO
I think I still have blue smoke in my brain. We're still in New York... a hundred years in the future? And aliens live here? And buildings fly? And--?"

Another inferior substitution for this original:

"LEONARDO
You mean we're still in New York... a hundred years in the future?"

Please, let's remember that these Turtles ARE NOT STUPID!!! The idea that they might be in the future MUST have occurred to them, especially after just having seen the Empire State building in a previous scene. Leo sounds like a complete moron as written here.

12.) Re: the following:

"* CODY
(to Donatello)
Pretty Phat Boss , huh, Leonardo?
LEO - waves his hand and points to Don. Cody looks sheepish.
LEONARDO
Uh, I'M Leonardo. That's Donatello."

As I said in my previous set of comments, these misidentification gags are painfully DUMB. Let's get rid of them and not waste time and lines on dopey stuff like this.

13.) Re: the following:

"* CODY
How did you ever tell them apart?
* SPLINTER
Color coded diapers.
* DONATELLO
Do they still have the saying TMI? Too much Information?"

This is an excellent example of "going over the line" with silly, dopey, inappropriate-to-character humor. This hurts my brain. Remember -- CODY IS THE BIGGEST TURTLES FAN IN THE ENTIRE FREAKIN' WORLD! HE KNOWS HOW TO TELL THEM APART! Jeez...

14.) Re: the following:

"CODY
2105 is no place for a mutated turtle from the twentieth century! He ll be torn apart out there! Come on--!
SERLING - over and blocks Cody's path.
SERLING
Master, while I m certain you feel pity for these wretched things, you shouldn t just up and leave the house."

Again -- is Cody not PERMITTED to leave the house or is he too agoraphobic or timid to leave the house? I thought it was the latter. But whichever, it's important to decide now. I think it makes Cody a more interesting character if he has to fight his own fears about going outside.

15.) Re: the following:

"SERLING
(explaining to Turtles/Splinter)
Master Jones is the owner of O'Neil Tech, a prominent manufacturer of terran technologies
DONATELLO
As in April O Neil? You go, genius!"

Don's line is dopey... more of a Mikey line, but I don't even think it would be good for him. It's also very obvious... we just saw a page or so ago that Cody is April's descendant. Why is Don then so surprised?

16.) Re: the following:

"* MICHELANGELO
(Bubbling)
How hard is it to find three talking turtles and a rat in this place? "

Extremely dopey.

17.) Re: the following:

"* CODY
Good news. I'm tracking Michelangelo's temporal displacement signature -- (off of Raph s puzzled look) Funk that stuck to his shell from the twentieth century.
* RAPHAEL
Mikey stinks. Check. "

While I am not in any way opposed to a good Raph jab at Mikey's bodily habits, THIS is just plain dopey and makes NO SENSE.

18.) Re: the following:

"* RAPHAEL
Mikey stinks. Check.
*WIDEN - All react to an urgent as out of the TIME WINDOW, knocking Raph on his shell!
*LEO AND DON help Raph to his feet &
* RAPHAEL
It was just a joke --"

Dopey. Who is Raph talking to? Why would he think that his stupid little joke about Mikey caused anything to happen?

19.) Re: the following:

"ON HANGAR - The doors slide open, revealing THE HOVER SHELL - a sleek new Turtles-inspired hover vehicle.
* LEONARDO
You have way too much time on your hands."

Why is Leo being such an asshole here? Totally out of character, especially under the circumstances. Another dumbass "throw in a joke" bit -- who cares if it's not at all appropriate to the situation?

20.) Re: the following:

"MIKEY'S POV - The Alien Street Vendor is gone. The alley is empty, save for a HOVER TRANSPORT, parked at the end.
* MIKEY
Great. Where am I now? Invisible town?"

"Invisible town" seems odd. Maybe "Invisible alien town" would be better.

21.) Re: the following:

"MICHELANGELO
And you guys shoulda mention the BIG UGLY ATTACK ROBOT!"

That should be "mentioned", not "mention".

-- Peter


------------------------------------------------------------

оригинальная запись в блоге

------------------------------------------------------------

All TMNT-related images © Mirage Studios unless otherwise noted. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles® is a registered trademark of Mirage Studios; all rights reserved.
21.12.2013, 19:11
Нормальная серия, неплохое начало для сезона про будущее. Сюжет, ну его
прям чуть-чуть получше сделать, а так норм все.
Ответить
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